Welp...herpes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
