Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
