I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
