Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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