My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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