We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
