oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
