Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
