i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
