Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
