Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Randomize
