I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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