So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
