the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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