And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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