Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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