the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
