when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
