If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
