Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
