y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
