oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
