I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I AM VODKA MAN
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
