So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
