i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
