I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
