everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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