I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
