You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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