Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
