I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
