he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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