hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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