I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
