Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize