stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
