so that wasnt chicken after all
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
