dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
