dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
