Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize