thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
