used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
