Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
