We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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