areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
