Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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