the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
