I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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