If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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