the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
