Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
