I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
