On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
