why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
