I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
