He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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