Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
