Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
