how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
