I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
