My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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