he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
