and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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