Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I will be naked everywhere
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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