i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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