Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
