Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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